The intimate relationship that you choose to be in will be the single most important decision you ever make in your life.
It will affect your health, your finances, and your emotional well-being more than almost any other decision you will make.
So why do some people rush into it so haphazardly… while others take forever to commit?
Do yourself a favour, and take five minutes out of your life to read the tips below.
With a little bit of self-reflection, you will see that the choice is clear… either the woman you are seeing right now is amazing for you, or she isn’t.
Here are five ways to help you figure out if she is the right one for you.
1. It’s Easy
In researching for my newest book, I have interviewed numerous couples that have been married for anywhere from 10 to 60 years, and they have all had one common denominator… it was easy.
They didn’t have multiple breakups, or plate-throwing fights, or countless instances of infidelity to muddle through.
They met. They liked each other. They started dating. It was easy. They got married. Then they stayed married because they liked each other.
There were no major road bumps that caused them to doubt why they were trying to force the relationship to work.
In the right relationship, you’ll realize that it takes effort, but it doesn’t take work.
2. The Important Stuff Is The Same
Do your core values align with hers?
Do you both agree on whether or not you want kids? What does an ideal night look like to each of you? How frequently do you each exercise?
If you don’t know yourself and if you don’t know what values are truly important to you, you might find it difficult to determine whether or not she is the right one for you. If you find yourself searching for a partner to complete you, you might need to do some searching internally first.
If the big things match up, the little things fall by the wayside.
3. Your Closest Friends Like Her
Your closest friends and family members aren’t you, but they have a pretty good idea of who you are.
In fact, recent research suggests that those closest to you actually know you better than you know yourself.
So if the people who have your best interests at heart don’t get along with your significant other, it could be a warning sign.
Have the patience and willingness to truly listen to your friends’ opinions on your relationship.
4. It’s Almost Scary How Much She Turns You On
You don’t want to hide her from your friends… you want to show her off.
You don’t have a passive-aggressive headache when she is in the mood… you find her so arousing that she distracts you from your work.
You will want to devour her. You’ll want to know her thoughts, her feelings, and all about her S3@.x:’ual preferences.
You will adore her cellulite, her eye wrinkles, and the way she snorts when she laughs her hardest.
You are attracted to her body, her mind, her heart, and her soul.
And you’ll think you didn’t have a S3@.x:’ drive before you met her.
5. You Want To Make Her Life As Easy As Possible
Men are born problem solvers, it’s how we see everything. And the way you view this woman is no different.
But you don’t just want to show her the simple solutions… you will want to help her live the happiest and most uncomplicated life possible.
Your jacket will be flying off your shoulders before she even hints that she is cold.
You will hear all about her day even if you know exactly how to ‘fix’ it.
You will catch her before she falls.
If you have an unrelenting desire to help make her life as pleasurable as possible, take that hint: you really care about this one.
Bonus: No one is perfect. There will always be what Dan Savage refers to as the ‘price of admission‘ in any relationship… those tiny things that can be cute but are usually frustrating.
She doesn’t put away the bread after taking a slice. She never remembers to hang up her wet towels. She snores after a night of drinking red wine. But, when the big things are in place, that ‘price of admission’ is ridiculously worth it.
The right partner will inspire you to grow, to step up, to become the best you there ever was.
And you’ll want to fight to keep her. Not that you’ll need to.
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